"The Pitch"

8 January 2026

30s

DAVID's yet to forgive the Jonas Brothers for 'No Time to Talk', last year's cursed take on 'Stayin’ Alive' by the Bee Gees. He feared the worst for this Almond Breeze spot, but maybe there's hope for the trio after all. Polite to a fault, they reject a godawful AI effort ("This clearly took you a while?" "No—can you imagine!?") in favour of a more human endorsement.

USA

Milk