"Be the Investor You Want to Be"

12 May 2025

30s

Artificial intelligence failure.

This eToro 'commercial' is so awful, it might be considered a war crime. First released on July 29, 2024—a day that will live in infamy—'Be the Investor You Want To' entered DAVID's consciousness the other night (he's now sought legal advice as a result). The spot is made with the help of artificial intelligence that's fallen off the back of a truck, and it deserves to be gored by a bull.

Just look at the synths eToro wants us to be like. There's Grace, the global technology investor who looks like she's about to walk into the side of a train rather than board it; Max, the German local stocks specialist who stalks the streets of Berlin; or Jan, a passive dividend hunter with glitchy hair as ridiculous as the giant tulips next to him. None of this is real, but it *is* a real crock of shit.

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