"Wiseguys"

4 July 2025

83s

Shirt to kill.

Retro football shirts are big business, both online and offline. It's why fashion retailer Cult Kits has launched its first TV ad—a riff on New York and New Jersey gangster films. Before he's murdered by the Mob, Carlos has one last request for Vincent, Frank, and Jimmy: "Shoot me in the face." If he wanted to confuse his captors, then Carlo's played an absolute blinder.

Why's he so keen to die like Marvin? Because he cares more about his 1997 New York/New Jersey MetroStars top than an open casket. He loves it to, er, death—just look at the baggy sleeves, the detail on the collar, the woven crest, and the retro typography. Even Carlo's would-be killers like the feel of it (we reckon they were also gutted when the club became New York Red Bulls in 2006).

Even the cast's accents are flimsier than a counterfeit football shirt bought on holiday, it's shot through (pun intended) with enough dark humour and passion for polyester to get fans onside.

UK

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