"Table Read"

25 August 2023

60s

Scriptide.

It makes sense that Keegan-Michael Key would star in a commercial about American football. After all, he and Jordan Peele were behind those brilliant East/West College Bowl sketches that featured names like Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace, Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar, and Torque [Construction Noise] Lewith.

He now makes the leap from college football to the National Football League, and he’s responsible for the 2023/24 season's 'script'. That means every touch, every tackle, and every touchdown is part of the NFL's grand plan—ridiculous, right? Right!?

Well, thanks to a joke made on a podcast by former player Arian Foster, the seeds of doubt were sown online. The brand have enjoyed the ride for the most part, but now they want to finish it on their terms.

That's why Chicago Bears quarterback Justin Fields suggests that players use wheels instead of legs, while his Minnesota Vikings counterpart, Kirk 'Kirk-O' Cousins, wants to play shirts versus skins. Besides, if the NFL did have writers, they would doubtless be on strike come September 7th.

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