David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

Quorn
"Sausages"
20s
10 October 2017
UK Pre-Prepared Meals

Quorn’s long-running Q&A session reaches Hannah’s kitchen as she ponders her mid-week menu. Combined with apple juice and some tossed vegetables, the brand’s meat-free bangers earns her a hearty applause. Having covered everything from summer barbecues to family dinners, the meat substitute insist they can solve any culinary dilemma.

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"Freedom"

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Quorn
"Sausages"
20s
10 Oct 2017
Quorn’s long-running Q&A session reaches Hannah’s kitchen as she ponders her mid-week menu. Combined with apple juice and some tossed vegetables, the brand’s meat-free bangers earns her a hearty applause. Having covered everything from summer barbecues to family dinners, the meat substitute insist they can solve any culinary dilemma.

Quorn
"Nuggets"
20s
1 Sep 2017
Quorn present us with a poser: how do you get children to embrace “posh dip?” One child’s indignant encounter with broccoli suggests it’s easier said than done. The brand have a better idea: meat-free nuggets and ketchup. That’s a relief - we thought we had another canapés-for-children situation on our hands.

Quorn
"Fajitas"
20s
23 Jun 2017
This latest Quorn commercial claims the ubiquitous meat substitute can do even fajitas justice. Here we see Sam, er, "fa-heat" up family mealtime. There's some nIfty food photography on show, including a knife's-eye view of an avocado. Meanwhile, Alan Davies remains on VO duty as he delivers more culinary wordplay.

Quorn
"Barbecue ABC"
20s
20 Jun 2017
Quorn turn their attention to the barbecue market as summer rolls around for meat-eaters and veggies alike. The food photography in this campaign continues to serve it well, making non-meat look like a tasty alternative. Alan Davies's voiceover is appealing as ever, although we always find the vague phrasing of 'protein source' a little suspect.

Quorn
"Thai Green Curry"
20s
8 May 2017
Quorn continue to do a good job of making their meat-free chunks look tempting. While we can't imagine a teenage boy trying to make his friends jealous of his cooking prowess by whipping up a curry - unless it involved whipping out a takeaway menu - the food photography here is as accomplished as the rest of the campaign and Alan Davies' voiceover works well.

Quorn
"Club Sandwich"
20s
11 Apr 2017
Quorn's new advertising direction looks to persuade audiences that the meat substitute is ideal for any occasion. Becky and her book club are discussing 'Manhattan Woman', so, eager to keep the theme going, she prepares some New York club sandwiches with the advertised product. Nice Shirt's Richard Jung ensures another appetising outcome.

Quorn
"Spag Bol"
20s
20 Mar 2017
With this spot, Quorn have significantly changed their approach to conquering the meat-free market. Gone are athletes endorsing the benefits of protein... instead the brand has charged director Richard Jung - master of delectable food ads - with making Quorn seem tasty rather than virtuous. A convinced VO from Alan Davies is the perfect accompaniment.

Quorn
"Adam Peaty"
30s
17 Jan 2017
Despite the lackluster voiceover from Olympic Gold Medalist Adam Peaty, we have to hand it to Quorn for managing to make their chunks of chicken-esque non-meat look edible in a Thai green curry. Adam doesn't sound as enthused though - that might be the least energetic exclamation of "Sound!" we've ever heard.

Quorn
"Kate Richardson-Walsh"
20s
13 Jan 2017
Olympic Gold Medal-winning hockey player Kate Richardson-Walsh appears as the new spokesperson for Quorn's 'mince' and 'chicken' products. The protein content of the mysterious meatless material is strongly emphasised - as ever - but just because she says a lasagne made with Quorn is better than her dad's doesn't mean it's necessarily good.

Quorn
"Mo Plays Tennis"
20s
26 Apr 2016
Good old Mo urges us once again to get stuck into the "deliciously healthy protein" that is Quorn. Just as exercising isn't an onerous chore if it's fun, so eating healthily isn't dull if it's tasty. Hmm... we're not sure, Mo - that game of tennis sure looks like exercise to us. But an, er, ace effort to convince us all the same.

Quorn
"Mo Plays Football"
20s
1 Jan 2016
As we've stressed before, this stuff isn't pitched at foodies - everything from the packaging to Mo's voice (bless him) suggests that Quorn mince is about as delicious as wet cardboard. But the happy vibe and the healthy aura of all concerned in this spot continue to make it seem like suitable nutrition for those who are more interested in their sporting performance than their taste buds.

Quorn
"Hot Dogs"
10s
29 Jun 2015
With the allegations surrounding his coach Alberto Salazar, maybe it's best for Mo Farah to take his mind off things by serving more grub from the Quorn catering MObile (yes, very good). Business seems to be booming as well judging by the number of sporty types digging in. By targeting this group, the ad gets the job done.

Quorn
"Fun Run"
20s
27 Dec 2014
Dear old Mo, you're not convincing anyone that the splodge of Quorn chilli you're about to eat is so delicious that it's a sacrifice to give it to a small, undiscerning child. But this isn't an ad for foodies - it's for fitness fiends and veggies and vegans, so it's pitched perfectly at its target audience. Just look at those post-runners tucking in and nodding - tells you all you need to know.

Quorn
"Sausages"
10s
17 Jul 2014
Ooh. Mo Farrar is a lovely chap and all that, but he struggles to deliver a script. But then again, this entire spot is struggling... while he's talking about sausages, we're actually being shown kebabs. It might have been better to have a different VO telling us how healthy this 'meat analogue' product is (thanks, Wikipedia), and also in hindsight to have reflected the fact you don't have to use their sausages as, well, sausages.

Quorn
"Mo Keeps Going"
30s
1 Jan 2014
Mo Farah endorses the power of Quorn to keep him going like the human Duracell battery he is. Apparently it's down to the fact that the fungus-based foodstuff is packed with protein and low in saturated fats. "I don't keep secrets," he reveals as other runners collapse from cardiac arrest around him. Well, that's your decision, Mo. If we had your talent, we'd probably train on chips'n'gravy.

Quorn
"Challenge"
10s
27 May 2013
Quorn. We're sorry, but it will take more than this to stop meat eaters associating the veggie-based pap with earnest types who knit their own lentils. Harsh but true. It's pushing the product as a healthy option, but the super saying: "half the saturated fat of some standard burgers and sausages" rather undermines this approach.

Quorn
"Spaghetti Bolognese"
20s
1 Jan 2013
Mmm... Quorn. Even in its new, "best ever" incarnation it looks grey and dessicated. The VO tells us we probably think we can't have a healthier version of this "delicious" spaghetti bolognese - but all we have to do is substitute mould for meat. Viewers across the land will be inclined to amend that 'probably' to 'definitely'.

Quorn
"Barbecue"
30s
28 May 2012
Another of those ads for Quorn that manages to suggest it's a substitute for meat without managing to mention that it doesn't have any meat in it. Perhaps they hope that people will try it without knowing this but find it so delicious that they won't mind once they find out. But they won't and they will.

Quorn
"Reduced Options"
30s
31 Dec 2011
According to this ad, when you are looking to eat more healthily you can find that your options are seriously reduced. But by swapping meat for the advertised product, you may be surprised by the possibilities. This visual metaphor is a bit of a thump in the face but it does its job.

Quorn
"Catch"
20s
15 Aug 2011
This ad is reasonably persuasive but you really can't call their suggestion a "small change". You may enjoy their version of 'fish fingers' but you can hardly consider swapping the main ingredient for mycoprotein as anything other than a 'big change'.

Quorn
"Sausage & Mash"
20s
24 May 2011
According to this commercial, merely switching from real sausages to the advertised facsimile will transform your meal from something that's tasty and unhealthy into something that's low calorie and wholesome. It's a slightly desperate proposition really... after all, sausage and mash without the sausages is a completely different meal.

Quorn
"Make One Change"
30s
7 Jan 2011
Is this a persuasive style? It looks persuasive and it feels persuasive but isn't the proposition at its heart flawed? Changing the main ingredient of the recipe may be a single change but it's a pretty significant one and hardly inconsequential flavour-wise.

Quorn
"Light On Your Feet"
30s
7 Jan 2009
Animation reminiscent of The Beatles's Yellow Submarine is combined with a voiceover from veteran nutter Stuart Hall to persuade us that the advertised product will help us keep us light on our feet... that's certainly true of DAVID as he'll need to nimble to dash to the loo if he ingests any.

Quorn
"Hundred Percent Annoying"
30s
18 Jan 2008
Return for the family inspired by their teenage daughter to begin eating Quorn. Once again she is not happy because she feels her parents and her brother are cramping her syle. Presumably hers is not the vegetarianism of conscience but of attention seeking.

Quorn
"Fork Threat"
30s
5 Jan 2007
Amusing ad has a teenage daughter reacting angrily when she sees the whole family has followed her lead and begun eating Quorn - a meat substitute. When it's put to her by her younger brother that she might not want hers, she menaces him with a fork.

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David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.